Oh my.

Jim Cantore – On-Camera Meteorologist

By way of the Weather Channel:

Jim is one of the most recognized faces in weather today. When he shows up, you know the weather is going to get interesting. Jim’s passion for field reporting during extreme weather events is well known among TWC viewers. Whether it’s “thunder snow”, an ice storm, tornado chasing or a category 5 hurricane, there is no place Jim would rather be than right in the “eye of the storm.”

What more is there for me to say other than;

“cover me in honey and let me roll around in a colony of fire ants”

so long as his F3 sized tornado comes and hammers my coastline.

Who doesn’t find this man hot?

Even men think he’s the man. He’s what we call an anomaly – incredible intellect, wisecracking smartass sense of humor, unbelieveable charisma and it all comes wrapped up in a hell of a package. And not one of those metro-sexual packages, but a real duct tape and newspaper kinda package. It makes me moist just think about it. I would so…. become a avian vomitologist and/or catfish noodler if he we let me show him my dirty job.

The hottest dwarf on the planet.

Who doesn’t know this “little person”? The first time I ever saw him was in an episode of CSI and I thought, damn, he’s kinda cute. Then he popped up as a regular in the short lived (shame – they could have done so much more with that show) series Threshold, where he played a playboy prick and I thought – dayum, he fine. But what really turned me on to Peter was a tiny little independent film called “The Station Agent”. He was phenomenal in this endearing role and I have been a huge fan since then, even to the point where I’m even contemplating going to see Underdog because he’s in it. He will also be playing Trumpkin in the upcoming Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Not only is he good looking, but he seems like such a zen-like guy, but I’d bet he’d tear it up in the sack. Mmmm.. all I can say is…

“I’d blow every munchikin in Oz if he’d take a trip down my yellow brick road.“

Ok people, I think it’s time for the ladies on the staff to get back into the game that is F3, so this week I’m handing things over to blueyeddanger.

Taye Diggs – Actor

My name may not be Stella, but if anybody can get my grove back it’s this fine specimen of BMH (Black Male Hotness).

“I don’t where that car is going, but I’d slap your momma if he’d put his key in my ignition.”

Ah fantasies. Those thoughts about people you have absolutely no shot whatsoever with so you think about unholy things to do with/to them within the confines of your twisted subconscious…..

But enough about me welcome to Fantasy Fuck Friday, a new column here at ATE: NSFW. The concept is simple; we scour the planet for the people that given the right set of circumstances we would jump at the chance for that one night of sexual delight/embarrassment.

We then post the picture of the lucky individual along with some sort of description of what we’d be willing to do for a shot to “Pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle“.

Anyways here’s this weeks picks

naNye’s pick:

Eve Tyler is/was a plus sized nude model. She modeled for such upscale publications as Score and Voluptuous Magazine. While she may be in a lesbian relationship, I’d totally be willing to,

“Give birth to a set of triplets out of my nuts“,

to sample her nanner pudding one time.

Full Frontal’s pick:

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a WWE Superstar as well as a somewhat successful Hollywood action star. All I can say is I would,

“Give head to President Bush spread eagle in the oval office, while beating off Cheney and fingering Condoleezza all while humming Hail to the Chief“,

to smell what the Rock is cooking.

CpC’s pick:

Rosario Dawson is an American singer/actress known for her roles in such movies like Sin City, Rent, and Kids. And with that;

“I’d lick Stan Lee’s taint on stage in the middle of a comic convention“,

to get her to super size me one time.

my wife Blue Eyed Danger’s pick:

Sean Connery…what more is there to say other than;

“Take two dung beatles, three cockroaches, a slice of week old dried out ham, insert into a chicken’s behind, grate all that up in a blender and place in between two pieces of white bread, serve cold with a bottle of hot sauce to wash it down“,

so I can get him to come service this majesty’s secret.