Since the last video I put up wasn’t exactly what you would call nsfw, I decided that you guys deserved something that truly was.

Now let’s be honest, I have a habit of going to the end of the internet a lot. By that I mean I have come across all types of photos, topics, and videos that would make a hardcore sex fiend blush and run to church for redemption. However I can safely say that this is the first video where I have ever seen anything like this.

I can also say that British public TV absolutely ROCKS!

[WARNING, ADULTS ONLY: while this video is from an educational sex series, it could be considered very hardcore and extremely not safe for work. Seriously, don't watch if you get offended by very explicit sex scenes between men and women]

For more info on the series where this video comes from read about it here.

Hollywood, why must you keep going into the depths of my childhood and making movies out of my cartoon memories?

A little while ago CpC brought you guys pics of a one Ray Park dressed up as Snake Eyes from the new GI Joe movie. Well thanks to the folks at NS4W.org I can bring you guys the pics of the chicks from the movie.

Enjoy the gallery.

Let me start this post by saying that if I’d known that this is how I’d be affected by the current Writers Strike, I might have been more sympathetic to their plight.

It has now been about three weeks since this series was started on Fox and I kept telling myself that I would wait to pass judgement on this show until I had a chance to watch several episodes.  Well after I tried to watch the latest offering in this show last night and was instead treated to a re-run of the pilot episode I feel like it’s time to speak my mind.

First up if you’d watched the second movie you would realize that this series has a lot of explaining to do in the form of by the end of the second film every thing at Cyberdine Systems had been destroyed courtesy of Linda Hamilton and the Govenator, then how would this show even be possible?

Second, if these machines are so advanced that they have mastered time travel, and they have failed at least twice to stop John Connor and Co., then why not go back far enough to kill all of John’s ancestors thus ensuring that he never exists.

And third, if through both movies (I don’t mention the third since this series seems to indicate that that movie didn’t happen) we are taught that John Connor is the future savior of mankind after the machines take over, then why don’t we have a show focused on him instead of his mom?  Better yet why is this series using the overused time travel plot device instead of showcasing John’s rise to power and the struggle mankind has against it’s cybernetic counterparts by basing the show after the events of Judgement Day?

I would think that a premise such as that would leave writers wide open to explore what makes John tick, as well as trying to show us the error of our ways of always trying to create life in the sense of creating an intelligent being (Skynet) that ultimately makes the decision that humans are inferior and thus decides to kill us all.

I say all of this to convey my disappointment in Hollywood once again creating:

• an unnecessary show that no one asked for
• not taking stock of the movie plots that the show is supposedly based on
• not willing or unable to answer the questions that their show’s plot holes have created
• and then casting it with actors that are either uninterested in the subject matter to give a convincing performance or using actors that I can’t tell if they really are doing a great job conveying the emotionless killers sent to destroy us or are so wooden in their approach (*cough Summer Glau cough*)that I long for the company of a 6 foot tall, shiny metal killing robot with a .50 cal Desert Eagle pointed at my temple.

Ok first things first – even though I haven’t watched the first Hulk film all the way through, the fact that I couldn’t finish the thing has nothing to do with the fact that I was terrified of the old Hulk TV show as a child. 

It has everything to do with the fact that the first Hulk movie…ah the hell with it there’s no need to come up with a witty way to say it sucked huge, fungus, filled Rhino testicles, the movie does that for me.

Lucky for us the powers that be must have agreed with the general consensus of the previous flick and are re-launching the movie franchise a-la Batman Begins.  What that means is that for all intents and purposes, the Hulk that was released back in 2003 never happened.

Now I think that it needs to be said that I am in no way, shape, or form as much of a Hulk fan as is my cohort CpC.  Actually I think he makes it a point of his to point out how much of a Dr Bruce Banner fan he is every chance he gets.  As a matter of fact I think the first words out his two year old son’s mouth was “Hulk Smash“.

I digress, the new film seems to be shaping up to be a solid movie going experience and with Edward Norton as the lead (phenomenal actor) I think this year is going to be a very good year for comic fans.  In any event enjoy the two new pics from the upcoming movie due out June 13.

Blair Butler (born June 28, 1978 in Fairway, Kansas) is a dedicated comic book aficionado, a stand-up comic, and a host for a segment called Fresh Ink on the G4 program, Attack of the Show!.

Butler graduated from Lake Forest College in Lake Forest, IL. She became the head writer of the G4’s flagship television program X-Play. Although she identifies herself as a writer/producer, her work as a stand-up comedian, including being featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, opened the way for her to work on-camera. During her years with X-Play, she participated in the show’s re-occurring sketches and themes in the role of the “Drunk Writer”, a female writer who wears oversized shades and a t-shirt with the words “I Need Drink” and can always be seen with a bottle of liquor (“Rot Gut”) and an unlit cigarette dangling from her mouth. (Butler does not smoke in real life.) She was later given her own segment called Fresh Ink on Attack of the Show! where she critiqued comic books, reviewing the newest issues of comic books with her recommendation on whether to “buy”, “browse”, or “burn” them. Starting in 2007, the Fresh Ink segment has evolved into Blair recommending good comics and collectibles from various comic stores in the L.A. area.

I have a soft spot for comic book chicks that have a sense of humor and don’t look like a left over plate of hamburger helper so I would lick the nastiest comic convention-going fanboy’s armpit just so….

I could watch her read Justice Society of America #1 completely in the nude while riding a slow moving mechanical bull and wearing a belt with Thor’s hammer hanging from the side and the whole time the Star Wars theme is playing in the background!

I’m a geeky little freak.

See here’s the thing, I’m a child of the eighties.

I was born at the tail end of the seventies, therefore all of my young formative years were spent growing up through the Reagan Administration.  I enjoyed going to grade school, playing with friends, and waking up on Saturday morning and watching cartoons.  Hell I still remember back when ABC would debut the new cartoons on a Friday night before the new season would start.

Oh those were the days.

Fast forward to the new millennium.

Not content with just shoveling their celluloid nonsense that is being passed off as children’s entertainment down our throats, the movie executives of the land ruled by the Terminator seem to think that since we’ve run out of ideas for films, we’ll just take old 80’s cartoons and turn them into movies.

Now occasionally it works, sort of.  But for the most part, the premise of a 22 minute cartoon for kids just doesn’t seem to translate that well into a live action, big movie adaptation.

But since Hollywood is convinced that whatever they touch will somehow turn to gold, today’s BOTM comes from  Stephen of Sand & Cotton, where in his own words:

…if whoever it was that made probably hundreds of thousands of dollars for that Alvin and the Chipmunks adaptation can do it, I figure I can do it, too. I have hardly no morals or artistic integrity. If somebody wants to pay me boatloads of money to churn out crappy adaptations of what were mostly crappy cartoons to begin with, I’ll sell out faster than Ice Cube starring in Are We There Yet III.

Hit the link and enjoy.

Movie Adaptations of Beloved 1980’s Cartoons

I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone here about how I feel towards Hollywood’s propensity to constantly go back through my adolescence, and option every fond memory I have of children’s cartoons and turn them into full length films.

With that being said  check out the new trailer for the upcoming Speed Racer flick helmed by the Wachowski Bros.  So far I guess I’m gonna have to go with the "wait and see" methodology on this one. 

If that doesn’t pan out, maybe my first wife will come down, give me a contact high, and we can go and watch the movie while being all shades of fucked up.

You know like the movie exec’s that keep green lighting these projects.

Okay, most of the time when a movie concept is turned into a TV show, it sucks. But from what I’ve seen and read about this one I think it might actually kick some ass.

On January 13, 2008 the pilot episode for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles will premiere on Fox. Since it appears that 24: Season 7 is not going to be coming in January due to the Writer’s Guild strike, Fox is putting this on in place of the adventures of Jack Bauer.

The show takes place after the events of Terminator 2 with Sarah Connor (played by Lena Headey of 300) trying to protect her son and the savior of the human race, John Connor (played by Thomas Dekker of Heroes), from assorted dangers including the robotic Terminators that are sent back in time to eliminate him. There is a Terminator assigned to protect him played by Summer Glau (Firefly, Serenity)

which ensures some hardcore Terminator on Terminator action. Also starring is Richard T. Jones (Event Horizon and Judging Amy ) as an FBI agent on the trail of the Connors. Will it suck or will it rock? Tune in and find out!

Is your favorite show’s proverbial pale, skinny neck on the line? Here are some alternatives that you can start DVRing now!

If you like Reaper…try Chuck. (or vice versa).
Both shows posts similarly interesting concepts – reluctant super geek unrealistically wins the affections of the incredibly hot leading lady while living a 007 kinda life. While every nerd gene in me wants to like both of these show, they haven’t even made the DVR cut and it’s a toss up. But if you like one, chances are you’ll like the other. Chuck airs Mondays on NBC at 8, Reaper airs Tuesdays at 9 on the CW.

Here are the pros and cons:

Reaper Pros:
Taylor Labine plays sidekick “Sock” with the comedic genius of Chris Farley and the political correctness of Gregory House – hysterical. The show is scheduled for a full 13 episodes, so you won’t be caught on a cliffhanger. The aforementioned love interest is much less annoying than her counterpart. Ray Wise (previously a VP on 24) plays an excellent satan.
Reaper Cons:
Call me old fashioned, but I like my superhero-ish type people to retain their secret identities. Here, everybody but Mom and Girlfriend know – ain’t that how it always is? Lead, Bret Harrison just isn’t a good actor and his character is written rather whiney.

Chuck Pros: Leading man Zachary Levi is more charming than his counterpart, there is considerable less whining from this character and he is a better actor.

Chuck Cons:
All the whine in this program comes for sidekick “Morgan”. The female lead is unbelievable and annoying. The show’s premise of information implanted into Chuck’s brain is theoretically more plausible than Reaper’s dealings with the devil, so why do I believe it less?

If you love Heroes…you might like Pushing Daisies.
These two shows have only a vague commonality in that they both deal with the “supernatural”. If you’re not up to date on Heroes, then you should immediately flog yourself and then go here. Good, moving on…
Pushing Daisies has stolen my cold dead heart. Its tender love story, quirky mysteries and Technicolor landscapes make for a phenomenally well crafted show. Supporting characters are just as interesting as the leads and the overall good-hearted themes are endearing and refreshing. Daisies has been picked up for a full season, but you’ll have to DVR the repeats until the strike is over.

Pushing Daisies airs Wednesdays on ABC at 8pm.
If you like Dancing with the Stars…you’ll need to leave now. No, seriously, get the f#ck out and go watch some Next Top Model or some other sh#t, cause you’re in the wrong place.

If you like any of the CSIs…you’ll love Criminal Minds.
I think most people agree that the original is always the best. Now, with the departure of our first original CSI, Sara Sidle, we’re at risk of having someone decidedly grating to replace her. The jury is still out on the new chick – we’ll see. If you haven’t been watching CSI: NY, check it out again, they’ve really gotten their stuff straight since Season 1, but if you’re already watching both and you’ve missed Criminal Minds, start watching this show NOW! This is not on my DVR lists because it’s just too good to pass up and I have previously touted the merits of this show. One of the best aspects of any crime drama is the psychological motives behind the very bad things that these very bad people are doing. If you’re thinking Criminal Minds would be too mundane or cerebral for you consider this: this past week’s episode was about a cannibal who ended up serving soup to the search party of the girl that he had killed. Guess what was in the soup? OH yeah baby, the girl that they were searching for. Criminal Minds kicks it up a notch – BAM!

Criminal Minds airs Wednesdays at 9pm on CBS.

Other good bets:

Women’s Murder Club – based on my favorite James Patterson novels, women will love the dynamics between these characters, men probably not so much. Fridays, ABC 9.
Numb3rs – great casting and characters make this show good. Fridays, CBS 10.

The popular 80’s cartoon/toy line/comic book is headed for the big screen courtesy of Warner Bros. as a state-of-the-art computer animated feature.

The director for the feature will be Jerry O’Flaherty who knows how to handle a computer generated product as he was the art director for the hit video games Gears of War and Unreal Tournament. He is currently working on the script with screenwriter Paul Sopocy.

The movie will show the coming of age of Lion-O, king of the Thundercats, as they escape the destruction of their home planet of Thundera and crash land on Third Earth. The Thundercats arrival on the planet is soon threatened by the evil sorcerer Mumm-Ra and his minions. It will go into production sometime in 2008.