You know how when you’ve been away from something for a while and it seems difficult to get back into the swing of things? 

Let’s see if we can remedy that shall we?

London Andrews: Model

One word people: flawless.

That’s all I could think of when we picked Ms. Andrews for this week’s F3.  I do believe that she may very well be the most beautiful model of any kind that I have ever laid eyes on.  I could go on and on with silly comparisons and witty/corny one liners about her but I think I’ll refrain from that this week and let her photos speak for themselves. Hit the link to find out more about hiring her or just more evidence that 5′10 120lb or less models have absolutely nothing on London here.

London Andrews

I had been saving this one for a while so let’s see what we’ve got in store today shall we?

Stacy Dash: Actress

Ok before we start I want you guys to really take a look at the center photo up here.  Yes I know that is a right nice behind but take it all in for a second before we forge ahead.

Now look at that photo again but this time add the knowledge that Stacy is 42 years old in that photo.

Yeah I know.

Wikipedia take it away:

Stacey Lauretta Dash (born January 20, 1966) is an American film and television actress.

Dash started her career as a child actress on Sesame Street. She later appeared in shows such as The Cosby Show, where she acted beside friend Lisa Bonet, and in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Dash’s first substantial television role was in the 1988 television series, TV 101 which also featured Matt LeBlanc and Sam Robards. The series was canceled after 13 episodes.

Dash’s first major film role was in the Richard Pryor comedy Moving in 1988. She also had sizeable roles in Mo’ Money and Renaissance Man during this time. In 1995, Dash starred as a femme fatale in a low budget film, Illegal in Blue. Dash received her big break with the 1995 film Clueless, which starred Alicia Silverstone as Cher Horowitz. Dash played Cher’s high school best friend Dionne Marie Davenport, even though Dash was 28 at the time. In 1996 the film spawned a television spinoff, also called Clueless, in which Dash reprised her role as Dionne and in which Rachel Blanchard played Cher. The series ran from 1996-1999.

Also at age 40 she posed for an issue of Playboy in 2006.

People I don’t even know where to begin for this one, I’ve thought Stacy was hot since I saw her in Mo Money along with some of them Wayan boys.  While I never saw the movie Clueless, I had no idea that she was damn near 30 at the time of filming.  Now some of you would say why am I making such a big deal out of old Ms Dash is.  I guess my reasoning behind it lies in that damn cover above and the pics below in that she looks better at age 42 than most of the new little chicks Hollywood keeps producing/telling us we should fawn after that are half Stacy’s age.

Stacy is a milf in every sense of the word and if I weren’t happily married and had half an opportunity;

"I’d walk around on all fours, stark naked dragging my nuts on 200 degree asphalt on a cross country trek from North Carolina to California…"

just for a chance to bang Stacy clueless.

Since the last video I put up wasn’t exactly what you would call nsfw, I decided that you guys deserved something that truly was.

Now let’s be honest, I have a habit of going to the end of the internet a lot. By that I mean I have come across all types of photos, topics, and videos that would make a hardcore sex fiend blush and run to church for redemption. However I can safely say that this is the first video where I have ever seen anything like this.

I can also say that British public TV absolutely ROCKS!

[WARNING, ADULTS ONLY: while this video is from an educational sex series, it could be considered very hardcore and extremely not safe for work. Seriously, don't watch if you get offended by very explicit sex scenes between men and women]

For more info on the series where this video comes from read about it here.

Bout time.

Lucy Pinder: Glamour Model

Ok first, this is going to be the last time for a while where I use the fact that I’ve been working on haleyred.com as an excuse to not put up content in a timely manner. This will also be the last time for a while where I shamelessly plug haleyred.com until we move into the alpha stage in where I can start to let people help us test it.

Now with that out of the way let’s get to today’s F3 shall we?

Wikipedia if you please:

Lucy Katherine Pinder (born 20 December 1983 in Winchester, Hampshire, England) is a glamour model noted for her large, natural breasts, which have been voted as being “the most beautiful all-natural pair in Britain”. In the summer of 2003, she was spotted by a freelance photographer while sunbathing on Bournemouth beach. As a result of the photographs taken that day, she signed a professional modeling contract with The Daily Star. Initially in her career, unlike most glamour models, Pinder became known for not posing fully topless; she eventually did so for a feature in Nuts in April 2007.

I’d like to begin with the fact that I believe the British accent to be the sexiest accent in the world. I really do believe that depending on the individual, I really could be completely content with just listening to them recite words from the dictionary. As far as Ms. Pinder goes, I remember coming across her some time ago when I used to frequent a site by the name of DoubleViking.com. The guys there seemed to be enamored with Lucy and originally I couldn’t figure out why.

She seemed like just your typical, run of the mill model that most “guy” sites seem to fawn over, as well as being the opposite of the type of lady that I tend to stupid for. However, I will admit that the more pics that I would find of her, the more she just seemed to hypnotize me along with most of her admirers. If I had to wager a guess as to why she seemed to grow in popularity is the fact that when she started out modeling, she would pose completely naked and somehow always manage to keep you from seeing her naughty bits. I used to find that completely frustrating but at the same time absolutely seductive.

Guys would go nuts over the fact that we actually couldn’t see anything when her other British model counterparts seemed to have no problem showing everything. It definitely kept me intrigued for a long time to the point that when I started ATE, we used her as the model for F3 itself.

Now usually this is the part of the article where I come up with something witty and at time funny about what I would be willing to do to have a shot with Ms. Pinder here but I think this time I’m just gonna show you guys the gallery while I:

“start taking classes at the YMCA so that I can learn how to swim, practice relentlessly to the point that I could easily enter into an Iron Man competition, so that I might one day swim all the way from the colonies back to the home land in an attempt to gain the favor of a one Lucy Pinder…”

and then lay claim to her nether regions in the name of the nanye.

Let’s do the rundown shall we?

• Brunette – Check
• Goofy one minute/sexy the next – Check
• Hot older woman – Check

Well that pretty much meets all my standards, let’s see if we can’t make us an F3 shall we?

 Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Actress/Comedian

If you don’t instantly recognize today’s F3, then where exactly were you during the decade know as the 90’s?  But since it would be unfair of me to just assume that everyone knows as much as I do, for those of you few individuals that don’t know who Julia is, then let’s let our nice friend Wikipedia shine some light on the situation.

Julia Scarlett Elizabeth Louis-Dreyfus(born January 13, 1961) is an Emmy-, Golden Globe-, and SAG Award-winning American actress and comedian who gained popularity playing the role of Elaine Benes on the NBC sitcom Seinfeld in the 1990s. She currently stars in the CBS sitcom The New Adventures of Old Christine.

Julia is my favorite kind of female comedian in that she can make me laugh hard enough to bring me to tears one moment and then if she wanted to make herself completely irresistible the next.  Not to mention I seem to be just constantly repeating myself when it comes to being attracted to older, sexy, brunettes.

One of the other cool things about Julia is that she seems, at least for the moment to be avoiding what some people call the Seinfeld curse with the success of her show on CBS called the New Adventures of Old Christine.(which by the way is the reason I’m featuring her this week after I caught a recent promo for the show and thought to myself damn I forgot how hot she is)

In any event:

” I would let Michael Richards berate me with the N-word all day…”

so I could prove to Julia that I’m very sponge worthy.

They say that Blondes have more fun, well let’s see about that shall we?

Sabina Leigh: Adult Model/Sexual Educator

Ok first things first, if you guys have been paying attention you’d have seen a glimpse of Sabina on our site before.  When we were posting a TP last year I was looking a for a pic of a sexy, classy chick to go along with the post and guess who I came across but none other than Ms. Leigh.

Now according to her personal site – Sabina-Leigh.com *nsfw*, she refers to herself as:

a busty bomb shell of an adult model, an innovative pornographer, and an open-minded sexual educator. To top that off I also possess an all natural curvy physique adorned with 34H breasts.

She had me at curvy.

You see the cool thing about women like Sabina is to me I find her just as sexy in full attire, a bit of lingerie, or of course nothing at all.

Since she started her career she’s worked with the likes of Score and Voluptuous Magazine along with Busty Brits and Smoking Rachel.

Now like I’ve said before time and again, I just can’t quite get enough of naturally curvy women, especially if they come with a little something extra to hold onto.  And even though I find myself almost always attracted to slightly older women as well, I find Sabina very hot an am willing to let go of the fact that she’d younger than me. (damn I feel old)

So with that being said;

“I’d sit through six months of watching nothing but the material girl’s movies 24 hours a day…”

to have me a piece of Sabina’s Blonde Ambition.

Ok I’m gonna try something a little different for today’s F3, I’m going to take this one post and let it count for two – the other being Music You Should Know.

Liz Phair: Singer/Songwriter/Musician

Now if you’re a devoted reader of the site, then you already know that earlier in the week, we featured a song by Ms. Phair as our WW. As I was gathering my information along with sifting through several pics of Liz – the thought occurred to me “dude Liz Phair is fuckin’ hot, we should totally feature her as this week’s F3.”

After that thought passed through my head the next one that came was “you know what else, she should totally be our Music You Should Know as well.”

And here we are. First the MYSK stuff:

Liz Phair (born Elizabeth Clark Phair on April 17, 1967 in New Haven, Connecticut, USA) is a Grammy-Nominated American singer-songwriter and guitarist. Her signature guitar, which she is often seen playing (and is prominent upon the cover of her self-titled fourth album), is a Fender Mustang. Her album Exile in Guyville was chosen as one of Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

Phair’s entry into the music industry began when she met guitarist Chris Brokaw, a member of the band Come. Brokaw was visiting her San Francisco loft-mate Nora Maccoby when he heard Phair’s songs, and encouraged her to record them.

After moving back to Chicago, Phair began writing songs and recording homemade tapes under the name Girly Sound, and supported herself by selling her drawings on the streets of Chicago. She became part of the alternative music scene in Chicago and became friends with Material Issue and Urge Overkill, two of Chicago’s upstart bands to go national in the early 1990s, as well as Brad Wood and John Henderson, head of Feel Good All Over, an independent label in Chicago. (A later attempt at re-recording the Girly Sound tapes failed after arguments between Henderson and Phair.)

My first encounter with Ms. Phair was over at my friend Soultron’s house after he had received the CD’s he had ordered through one of those BMG 10 CD’s for $ .01 deals. (The internet as you know it kids wasn’t always there you know). He had her first album – Exile in Guyville and I really liked it. I was just getting into the whole alternative thing and listening to her songs helped ease me into that transition. To this day my favorites off that album are “Never Said” and “Mesmerizing” although no one can listen to Liz’s stuff and not appreciate her blunt, in you face, sexually explicit lyrics like those in “Flower” or “H.W.C.”

and now to the F3 stuff…

Ok I think it’s well documented on this site that I have a passion for sexy, older women. I don’t know how to explain it other than I find them immensely attractive. Now if you were to add on the talent of playing a musical instrument and you had me at the first time she cranks her amp. And while it took the movie American Pie to bring the term and concept of MILF into the mainstream consciousness, I’ve always found certain moms sexy and thank the heavens every day that I married the hottest MILF around.

And on that note:

“I’d endure a 16 hour rectal exam being helmed by 3, men hating lesbians – after I had commented on their mannish haircuts…”

if Liz would come be my “blow-job queen“.

Blair Butler (born June 28, 1978 in Fairway, Kansas) is a dedicated comic book aficionado, a stand-up comic, and a host for a segment called Fresh Ink on the G4 program, Attack of the Show!.

Butler graduated from Lake Forest College in Lake Forest, IL. She became the head writer of the G4’s flagship television program X-Play. Although she identifies herself as a writer/producer, her work as a stand-up comedian, including being featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, opened the way for her to work on-camera. During her years with X-Play, she participated in the show’s re-occurring sketches and themes in the role of the “Drunk Writer”, a female writer who wears oversized shades and a t-shirt with the words “I Need Drink” and can always be seen with a bottle of liquor (“Rot Gut”) and an unlit cigarette dangling from her mouth. (Butler does not smoke in real life.) She was later given her own segment called Fresh Ink on Attack of the Show! where she critiqued comic books, reviewing the newest issues of comic books with her recommendation on whether to “buy”, “browse”, or “burn” them. Starting in 2007, the Fresh Ink segment has evolved into Blair recommending good comics and collectibles from various comic stores in the L.A. area.

I have a soft spot for comic book chicks that have a sense of humor and don’t look like a left over plate of hamburger helper so I would lick the nastiest comic convention-going fanboy’s armpit just so….

I could watch her read Justice Society of America #1 completely in the nude while riding a slow moving mechanical bull and wearing a belt with Thor’s hammer hanging from the side and the whole time the Star Wars theme is playing in the background!

I’m a geeky little freak.

Next week marks a day where we will spend most of the day looking over different gifts people have gotten us, while also trying to stuff as much food down our throats as humanly possible.  In honor of that I thought this week’s F3 would be that of a nice little strumpet that I happened upon the other day.

Nigella Lawson: Journalist/Food Writer/Television Presenter

First let’s get you up to speed about what’s on today’s menu:

Nigella Lucy Lawson (born January 6, 1960) is an English journalist, food writer, broadcaster and television presenter. After graduating from Oxford, Lawson worked as a book reviewer and soon became the deputy literary editor of The Sunday Times in 1986.

In 1998 she wrote her first cookery book entitled How to Eat which became an instant bestseller. Lawson wrote her second best selling book, How to be a Domestic Goddess in 2000, winning her a prestigious British Book Award.

Her career progressed in the United Kingdom in 2000 when she hosted the successful Channel 4 cookery programme, Nigella Bites, which was accompanied with another bestseller. She also hosted a less successful chat show on ITV in 2005, which was followed by two highly successful cookery series on BBC Two. Lawson also enjoys a flourishing career in the United States where Nigella Feasts has been aired. Her own cookware range is reportedly worth £7 million a year[1], and she has sold nearly 3 million cookery books worldwide.

Now it should be noted that in the East household, the cooking is mainly handled by wife.  It’s not that I’m sexist or anything (unless you mean I want it pretty much all the time) it’s just that when it comes to me and cooking, I prefer to leave that sort of thing to the talented professionals of my local drive-thru.

I say all that to make the point that the thought of me watching a cooking show seems to make most people scratch their heads in disbelief.  I want to make it clear that I wasn’t really watching Rachael Ray’s show per say as I happen to catch a glimpse of her guest – Nigella Lawson.

After seeing Mrs. Lawson I thought to myself – "well hello there, aren’t you just a nice, tall glass of water?"  And then I heard her speak and what comes out lo and behold but none other than a British accent.(which I find to be the sexiest accent known to man).  So if you add that all together you end up with a tall, busty, beautiful, rich, older brunette British woman. And with that;

"I’d totally go back in time and change the outcome of the American Revolution so that we could live in a totalitarian, V for Vendetta, iron fist British rule"

if I can pop around Nigella’s house for a bit of who’s your father.

Well it’s that time a year again folks, Christmas time.

You know the time of year where we as a people go out of our way to celebrate all the good in the world, by trying to see how much in debt we can put ourselves by purchasing items for people in an attempt to seem giving. It also marks the time that here in Raleigh, the loyal listeners of the radio show Bob & the Showgram can participate in a time honored tradition known as Merry XXXMas.

For the past 10 years that I have been a loyal listener to Bob and the Showgram, Merry XXXMas has worked like this:

The DJ’s along with other members of the show would go out and take naked pictures of themselves, while strategically covering up the naughty parts with Christmas themed items. They would then post said pictures on the web for other people to see, gawk at, make fun of, and in some cases lust after.

The other cool thing was that as listeners of the show, you could also submit your own photos. (because nothing says that you’re celebrating the birth of Christ, quite like parading around in nothing more than a smile and some wrapping paper)

Now I realize that most of the time the people on the radio are some of the last people that you would ever want to see naked, but on the whole the nice folks at G105 are some nice looking people (I love you Randi). And every year we here at ATE looked forward to seeing the folks from the Showgram and whatnot parading about. Unfortunately, for what ever reason, this year, they’re doing pets. (not that way you sick bastard)

Well I for one feel as though Merry XXXMas needs to continue as originally intended. Therefore we here at All Things East Inc. are more than happy to pick up the slack. So from here on till the end of the year readers can feel free to send in their naughty pics and we will post them on the site. And since we still love you G105, at the bottom are some pics from 2004 when Merry XXXMas was still featuring humans.

Send all naughty pics to atecrew@allthingseast.net