Thursday Prophesies: My Fellow Americans
As you may already know, it’s a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and he must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM. EDT, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
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Thursday Prophesies: The Pants Story
Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a
little fireside chat…… He says, “Mike, let me tell you something.”
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Thursday Prophesies: Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING: Gene and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, “NO, it’s not.” Four is larger than two. We haven’t used Sears repair since.
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1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
You got to love this guy...This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
On this our second St Valentine's Day, enjoy this little anicdote about what every office in America should have. Enjoy.
Since the Super Bowl is right around the corner, I thought some football humor was in order. Enjoy.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100%?
Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
More after the jump.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
More cartoon silliness after the jump.