Thursday Prophesies: Why We Love Kids
This is why we love kids…
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’
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Thursday Prophesies: Great Comebacks
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.
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Thursday Prophesies: Only For Grown Ups
By way of g33klite.com
A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
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Thursday Prophesies: Ways to Maintain your Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
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For Everything Else: Master Card Wedding
You got to love this guy…This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
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On this our second St Valentine's Day, enjoy this little anicdote about what every office in America should have. Enjoy.
Since the Super Bowl is right around the corner, I thought some football humor was in order. Enjoy.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100%?
Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
More after the jump.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
More cartoon silliness after the jump.
To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, 2005. Actress/Vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music.' Here are the actual lyrics she used:
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.