By way of g33klite.com

A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can’t remember what I chose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings…’

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ’stop‘, unless they are used together.

Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What’s an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing…….

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives !!!

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