Now here’s the thing, as a child I didn’t really have a lot of experience dressing up in costumes to go trick or treating, mainly because I grew up in a small country town and didn’t live in a “neighborhood” conducive of trick or treating. Therefore my older sister and I would dress up for Halloween and then knock upon my mother’s bedroom door and she would give us candy. (Don’t judge me monkey)

So since today is All Hollow’s Eve, and in the spirit of spending too much money on an outfit so that you can go around house to house in search of some sweet sustenance, today’s BOW comes one day early and deals with the art of cosplay.

By way of Morbid Optimisim:

he writes:

I’m totally going to get sued for tonight’s post, but I can’t let this go on any longer.

Let me begin by explaining what ‘cosplay’ is for those of you who don’t know; cosplay is a conjunction of the words ‘costume’ and ‘play.’ Fanboys and fangirls dress up like their favorite characters and go to conventions and show of the awesomeness of how much they look like their fantasy counterparts (be it video games, anime, manga, movies, etc.).

I’m here to say that this should be banned in America, my reasons for this statement follow.

I’m going to name the character and his/her origin, post a picture of that actual character, show you a good example of cosplay for that character (from japan) and finish each character with the American version. Please bear with me as I almost pissed myself from laughing multiple times ‘researching’ for this article.

Cloud from Final Fantasy VII:

The good:

The American:

Next up is Sepiroth from Final Fantasy VII:

The Good:

The American:

Now behold Vincent, another fan favorite from Final Fantasy VII:

Not only is this good one good, it’s fantastic:

The American:

Okay, okay, I have another Final Fantasy VII character for you guys, here’s Tifa:

The Good:

The above picture is NOT, I repeat, NOT, from the movie! She is a real person and, by far, the best Tifa cosplayer ever. I don’t care if she was paid by Square or not, she’s still a killer Tifa. Not much information is known about her, but she is the real deal, yo.

The American:

Yeah, it matches the picture for the costume a little closer, but watch Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and then tell me otherwise.

Okay, on to another game (same series though, I’m sorry…): Final Fantasy’s X-2 Yuna!

The Good:

The American:

Moving on to another Final Fantasy X2 character, we have Rikku:

The Good:

The American:

Okay, finally moving away from the Final Fantasy series, we have the sailor girls from the Sailor Moon series:

The Good:

The American:

The boy in the front of that picture is especially creepy. That is a boy, right? Right?

Next up for all you current anime fans, the Naruto series:

The Good:

The American:

I don’t know who the guy in the middle is, but he’s balding. That is all.

Here is Rei Ayanami from the Evangelion series:

The Good:

The American:

There is so much to point out in this picture… I just want you guys to look this one over like you’re six years old again looking for Waldo… I almost feel bad for posting this image… Almost… I also almost had a heart attack when I came across this gangster ass photo of the American Rei.

Hypothesis:

American’s shouldn’t cosplay, otherwise eyes might erode.

Conclusion:

American’s shouldn’t cosplay, otherwise the world might end.
I’m ready to go slam my face into a pillar, the longer I type with the American Rei Ayanami on the screen the further into nausea I delve.
Ugh.

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